True “Wet” Cell Emergency Battery

Bro Mark sent me a link for what is described as a  Swiss Army Emergency “Piss-On-It” Battery.

This is an emergency 1.5VDC wet-cell battery. When you need it, you remove the cork, break off the little glass tube and fill it with clear water… Let stand for 10-12 hrs and presto, you got juice. I’m told, if you’re stuck in the middle of the desert without any possibility of water, you can pee in it, and that’ll make it work too. You gotta love it! Brand-new. 4.75” x 2” x 2”

If you just can’t live without one, here’s where you can buy it.

I have no connection with these folks, nor have I ever bought anything from them, so you’re on your own.

Artist Don Greenwood is a Nice Guy

That big stack of business cards that say Ken Steinhoff, Telecom Manager, Palm Beach Newspapers, Inc., lost all value except as book marks when I retired at the end of August.

I needed a new identity

I was headed out to speak at a telecom conference in October and decided I should have new business cards to hand out there and when I run into folks on the bike.

Matt, Help!!

One of the advantages of having geek kids is that you can call on them when you need help. Matt, older brother of propeller head Adam, shown here, said he’d whip something up if I could provide a logo.

I started to rip off Keefer

I started to rip off a logo used by Chuck Keefer, keeper of the needs-to-be-updated LOST website, but I didn’t think it was generic enough.

Velo Girardeau to the rescue

That’s when I remembered the illustration on the flyer for Velo Girardeau’s annual Tour de Cape. For a small town, Cape has an active cycling community with a lot of friendly and helpful folks.

Their Yahoo group has some excellent maps.

I rooted around in my file drawer until I found the flyer and scanned it for Matt. He came up with this as a business card. Because we were getting tight on time, he was going to have them printed and mailed to my mother in Cape so they’d be there when we arrived. For the record, www.overnightprints.com did a good job at a reasonable price.

There was one small problem

I didn’t know how to contact the artist to get his permission and I didn’t have a clue how much he might charge for the use of his work.

I figured my first challenge, when I got into town, was to track down some guy named Don Greenwood and see if I was out 10 bucks for cards that I couldn’t distribute.

It helps to have an artist in the family

Sister-in-law Marty Riley is an artist in Cape and not only knew Don Greenwood, but knew where he hangs out in the evening.

We tracked him down and he graciously agreed to let me use his artwork for an amount that I could afford: $0.

Thanks, Matt, Marty and Don.

Goop is Your Friend

Mark Boyd, a phred I’ve always admired, has toured all over the world. Even though he’s a high daily mileage tourist, he manages to create journals that are rich in photos and descriptions. Too many cyclists get hung up on mileage, routes and gear, but Mark has the ability to capture the ambiance of the areas he’s passing through.

Because he tours in countries where he doesn’t speak the language or in places where help is a long way off, he’s good at improvising.

Goop is his friend. He uses it to fix everything. I learned from him.

I’m pedaling, but my RPMs are zero

I used to have problems keeping the magnet for my Cat Eye Astrale 8 Cyclocomputer attached to my crank.

I’d be pedaling down the road cranking like crazy, look down and see that my computer was registering zero RPMs. That’s really demoralizing. A closer inspection would show that the little magnet holder attached with a nylon tie had fallen off and there was nothing for the pickup coil to pick up anymore.

Rare Earth Magnets to the rescue1/8 inch Rare Earth Magnets

I set off to my neighborhood Radio Shack and picked up a couple of Rare Earth Magnets.

Radio Shack gets a pretty penny for their magnets, but I can buy a package of 30 from Amazon for about 10 bucks.

That’s a lifetime supply. One warning: keep them away from small children. Swallowing them can be deadly.

How do I stick the magnets to the crank?

Here’s where Goop comes in. I can’t tell much difference between the different flavors of Goop. Their motto is, “Glues Whatever, Holds Forever.” (By the way, check out their Testimonial page, it’s cleverly done.)

I reached for Goop for Plumbers first, figuring that it would be waterproof, held two magnets against the crank and gave a squirt. Goop is fairly viscous, sort of like silicone or caulking and it dries relatively quickly.

An hour or so later, I hopped on the bike and headed off down the road, not really expecting the magnets to hold on.

If I had known they would stick, I’d have been neater

You can tell from this closeup picture that I didn’t make any effort to trim the excess. Dirt that got stuck while the glue was still tacky is still there a couple of years later.

When I replace the crank or the bike, I’ll be a little more careful.

We’ve found Goop to be great for gluing the grandkid’s toys back together. Because it’s flexible, it’s less like to break at the same place.

I’ve been wondering if I could cause some of those slow traffic lights to trip if I’d take that whole box of 30 magnets and Goop them to my bottom bracket.

With my luck, the first time I passed over a manhole cover the bike would come to a sudden stop and I’d go flying over the bars.

Bike Time and Space Shuttle Time

Wife Lila and I rushed out to our front lawn in West Palm Beach, FL, tonight to catch Space Shuttle Endeavor blast off. The conditions were perfect to see the light trail come over the top of Helen’s house. (We still call it that, even though Helen is long dead and the house has changed hands several times.)

Then the fuel tanks dropped

Based on the time stamps on my digital pictures, it was less than a minute between the time we first spotted the streak of fire and the time the fuel tanks dropped off.

Swirling clouds of smoke

No Floridian who was looking into the sky when the Challenger made its final flight can erase the memory of those swirling clouds of smoke 73 seconds after liftoff on that cold, clear morning in 1986. I found myself holding my breath last night until  STS-126 got past the phrase, “Go at throttle up.”

The Law of Inverse Appreciation

In December 2006, one of the phreds posted a quote, from Colin Fletcher’s The Complete Walker“The less there is between you and the environment, the more you appreciate the environment.”

That led me to write to the list, I’ve been working on the hour-day rule of thumb.

  • A cyclist can cover in an hour about as many miles as a hiker can walk in a day.
  • A motorist can drive in a hour about as many miles as a cyclist can pedal in a day.
  • An airliner can fly in an hour about as many miles as a car can travel in a day.
  • The space shuttle can fly in an hour about as many miles as the jet can in a day.

I wouldn’t mind the day in the shuttle, but I know that below that, my pleasure is inversely related to the speed of travel above pedal power.

Car time is boring

I once did a scouting drive in my car. Even though I was driving 45 to 60 miles per hour, it seemed like it took a long time. When I rode the same route on my bike, it seemed over in a short time.

My only explanation is that the car segment was focused on the beginning and the end. On the bike, I was aware of every grasshopper that flew in my face, the smell of the manure along the way, the group of old farmers I talked with under a shade tree, etc.. All of those small things make REMEMBERING the trip take a long time, but were distraction enough along the way to break the boredom up into tiny fractions that made it feel at the time like it was going fast.

Some days it might be hand prints in a sidewalk that catch your eye; other days it might be the pastel colors of a sunset.

I hope those folks up in the Shuttle are having as much fun. Here’s a hope for a safe (and boring) return.

Put a Raincoat on Your Brooks Saddle

Earlier this year I wrote about how to adjust a Brooks saddle. I mentioned in it that I used a Carradice Saddle Cover from Peter White Cycles to protect it.

You don't normally see cows standing around wearing raincoats, but leather that's off the cow has a tendency to sag when it gets wet.

When they dry out, they can get hard and become, in an inelegant turn of phrase, “ass hatchets.”

Here's what my seat cover looks like when it's sleeping

When I was pushing my bike into its home this evening, I realized that I hadn't shown any pictures of what the cover looks like in the wild.

I keep it shoved up under my Brooks Champion Flyer saddle when it's not in use. It's never fallen out, even when it's been on the bike rack tooling down the road at speeds that I won't admit to.

Just to be safe, though

Before I discovered how much it likes living under my saddle, I was paranoid enough to take a snap and swivel fishing leader and attach it to the saddle springs. The leader passes through the two leather reinforced slots that are designed to allow access to the saddle bag loops.

Here's what it looks like rigged for rain

The cover fits very snugly. In fact, the only criticism I have is that the leather reinforced slots are cut a little small and don't go over the metal saddle bag hooks.

I could probably do some cutting and trimming, but since I don't use a saddle bag, it's not worth the risk of making a bad cut.

The cover should be considered more water resistant than waterproof. If I'm going to leave it outside for a long period of time or carry it a long distance on the back of the car, I'll add a plastic bag or shower cap cover for additional protection.

Interestingly enough, even though the cover is slick, it's not as comfortable to ride on as the bare Brooks.