When I started riding before the Turn of the Century (that sounds neater than “in the 90s”), I wore a pair of cut-off army surplus fatigue pants. I wore them until my wife pointed out that they had become so threadbare that my privates were about to become publics.
About that same time, I was in Dallas on business and rented a bike from Richardson Bike Mart, one of the biggest bike shops I’ve ever been in and where Lance Armstrong worked as a kid. While tooling around White Rock Lake, I was passed by a guy who had a caboose at least twice the size of mine. I thought, “If he ain’t ashamed to stuff a sausage in that sack, then I won’t be either.”
Shorts aren’t cheap
When I got back home, I bought my first pair of Pearl Izumi bike shorts, paying almost three times what my last suit cost before I got married. I can safely say that I got more value out of the shorts than I did the suit.
After my shape became more aerodynamic (think keg, not six-pack), I transitioned to bib shorts and have found them much more comfortable. My first pair was the Performance Elite Bib Short. The editors at Bicycling Magazine gave them a 2008 Editor’s Choice rating.
For some reason, I decided to switch to the Performance Ultra Bib Short and I passed my Elites on to my son, Matt. He called last night to say that his shorts were finally approaching the private / public stage after several years of hard riding.
Facing a full moon
Matt’s first pair of bike shorts clearly demonstrated the difference between good shorts and cheap shorts. My brother Mark, his buddy Wally, Matt and I took off to Illinois for what turned out to be a century ride.
We were cranking along when I turned to the other guys and asked, “Do Matt’s shorts have some kind of weird shine on them or are we looking at what appears to be a full moon?”
That question was answered when a pickup truck passed us with the woman driver holding her hand over a small child’s eyes. Yep, you truly do get what you pay for. We increased our pace to keep Matt and his cheap shorts BEHIND us for the rest of the ride. Continue reading “Don’t Let Anything Come Between You and Your Bike Shorts”



