Monteagle Mountain Wants Your Rig

Wolf Creek Pass, Circa 1990No family trip with the boys would have been complete without playing our Cars & Trucks mix tape including

Looking for the fast route

We were ready to come home after a great vacation, so we picked the fastest route: backwoods from Cape to I-24 through Nashville and Chattanooga, then I-75 through Atlanta to Wildwood, where we picked up the Florida Turnpike to West Palm Beach.

Mountain wants your rig

And the devil wants your soul if you let ‘er roll down Monteagle Mountain, sings Johnny Cash.

Monte Eagle Pass

Monteagle pass, over the Eastern Continental Divide, is considered one of the most hazardous stretches of Interstate highway in the country. The 4% to 6% grade isn’t as steep as a stretch on I-40 between Nashville and Knoxville, but it goes on for miles.

Runaway truck ramps

Cash goes on to sing,
When I started down Monteagle, the brakes just wouldn’t hold.
I knew I was in trouble and bout to lose control.
The runaway ramp was waitin’; I saw the warnin’ sign.
I said, “Lord help me make it. Have mercy on this soul of mine.”
Well, I plowed into that runaway ramp and I could feel that big truck groan.
My life flashed right before my eyes and for a minute I thought I was gone.

What saved him was one of two runaway truck ramps on the left-hand side of the downhill grade. They are an uphill ramp of loose gravel that will quickly slow down a truck whose brakes have failed.

Wrecks common

One night we were coming off Monteagle and got caught in a huge traffic slowdown. We could smell burning brakes all around us because the trucks were having to ride them going down the mountain. When we got to the bottom, we saw a burned-out 18-wheeler that had caught fire from its overheated brakes.

I keep a close eye on my rearview mirror on that stretch. The last thing I want is to be a speed bump in front of a runaway tanker truck.

Larry's Army / Nave Store

Larry’s Army / Navy Store

Larry’s Army / Navy Store at Exit 135 near the crest of the mountain is a good place to kill some time.

He moved from his old place two years ago to a convenient location next to a truck stop. It has plenty of parking and clean restrooms.

Old place was in the boonies

We heard about Larry from a flyer we picked up at the Smoke House (which used to have excellent home cooking, but has slipped).

The directions to the old store reminded me of the lines from McCall’s Classified, “I says, “Where are ya?” He says, “Fourteen east on County 12, turn right on the one-lane gravel road, you can park in the yard, beware of the dog, wipe your feet off, knock three times, and bring your billfold.”

In business since ’92

Larry and his wife, Nicole, have been in business since 1992. Their old place drew most locals – 80-85% – while the new one draws about 50% from the area and 50% from Interstate traffic. “We didn’t lose any local business, and we picked up a lot of tourists,” he said.

Ghille SuitNeed a ghillie suit?

The store is clean, well-lit and carries all the standard surplus fare, including ghille suits for snipers (or hunters), plenty of cold weather gear and boots.

Authentic surplus gear is getting harder to get, Larry said, so a lot of his stock is new, made to government specs. Some customers want the used stuff, others feel more comfortable buying never-worn clothing.

Rocking horse not for sale

We’ve seen Larry and Nicole’s kids grow up in the store in our stops over the years.

Cole, described as manager-in-training by Larry, is 15 months old.

The gas mask is for sale

Gas Mask for SaleAlong with helmets, long johns, ammo cases, insignia, name labels ( a bargain if you have the right name), collectibles, Army blankets (a good buy, we found out a few years back), canteens and camping supplies. We’ve never gone in without buying something for us or a friend or relative (my brother-in-law is getting a pair of super-warm polypropylene underwear for hunting season, but don’t spoil the surprise).

Sarah’s cute as a bug

Sarah: Cute as a BugNobody’s a stranger to 3-year-old Sarah, who roamed in the store in a walker the last time we saw her.

Minutes after becoming reacquainted with her, she was chattering away with Wife Lila, and comparing socks.

Happy with her socks

(Wife Lila had just bought a pair of warm socks up the road at  Mountain Outfitters and she was particularly pleased with them and herself. That’s another nice stop. We were disappointed to see a wine store where they used to be, but we were pleased to see that they had moved into a new, bigger store just down the road at Exit 134. Their focus has changed from being an outlet store, so their prices are higher than they used to be, but the folks are very friendly and helpful.)

Sarah and JoshuaTime to say goodbye

After settling up with Larry, it was time to say goodbye to Sarah and her brother, Joshua, 7, and get on down the road.

As we entered the downhill grade of Monteagle Pass, Harry Chapin’s tale about the young driver hauling 30,000 pounds of bananas who missed the “Shift to lower gear or or $50 fine, my friend” sign popped into my head.

He barely made the sweeping curve that led into the steepest grade.
And he missed the thankful passing bus at ninety miles an hour.
And he said “God, make it a dream!”
as he rode his last ride down.
And he sideswiped nineteen neat parked cars,
clipped off thirteen telephone poles,
hit two houses, bruised eight trees,
and Blue-Crossed seven people.
it was then he lost his head,
not to mention an arm or two before he stopped.
And he slid for four hundred yards
along the hill that leads into Scranton, Pennsylvania.
All those thirty thousand pounds of bananas.

I shifted from 4 to 3 and pumped the brakes all the way down, checking the rearview mirror frequently, “’cause when there’s a runaway on Monteagle some truckers don’t survive.”

Las Vegas by Scooter

Wife Lila decided to go with me when I spoke at a telecom conference in Las Vegas at the end of October.

We learned how much walking there is to do even inside one casino when Kid Adam got married there in 2005. Lila did battle with a weed root in yard several months ago and the weed won. (I believe in letting foliage take its natural course, so that would never happen to me.) Since then, she’s had difficulties walking long distances on hard surfaces.

$40 a day or $105 for three

As soon as we checked into Caesars Palace, we headed for the bell captain to see if motorized scooters were available for rent.

They cost $40 a day or $105 for the three days we were going to be there.

The bell captain gave her a two-minute driving course: “Pull on the right lever to go forward; pull on the left to back up. Start out in Turtle until you get comfortable, then graduate to Jackrabbit.”

Except for that elevator incident….

She adapted quite quickly. The scooter had a tight turning radius and would move at faster than a walking pace. She did great until she encountered her first elevator. Somehow or another, she managed to turn too sharp getting out and got stuck in the door, which kept saying in an increasingly annoying female voice, “Door is Closing!!”

Trust me it WASN’T closing. At least not until Lila got off the scooter, and I lifted the rear end so it would clear. Somewhere in Security Land, that video must be on the Greatest Hits List.

Gawkers don’t look down

Most folks (at least the smart ones) gave her plenty of clearance. She did learn that most tourists are busy looking at the distance from standing eyelevel and aren’t aware of someone much lower at seated height.

I told her it was a shame that I didn’t have my bike with me so she could borrow my Delta Airzound Bike Horn and flashing strobe light.

ADA is a Good Thing

Folks on two good legs wonder what’s the big deal with the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA). When you have to figure out how to find ramps, elevators, automatic doors (or nice folks who will open them for you), then you gain a new appreciation for the challenges faced by wheelchair users.

Even when you can find an automatic door opener, the button’s not always in a convenient place.

When you go through an automatic revolving door, the rotation slows down, at least until some impatient person gets on behind you and starts pushing it manually.

Overall, most people were helpful.

Finding ramps a challenge

The first evening at Caesar’s Palace, we took off trying to find a reasonable place to eat. We had a map of the joint, but I do a lot better when I can see the sun or use my GPS.

Unfortunately, the map didn’t show where the ramps were located. Some of them were obvious, but some of them were hidden.

After a while, though, we got better at breaking the code.

She had it figured out by Day 2

By the second day, when I was stuck at the seminar, she gathered up enough courage to head out on the strip to explore on her own and stayed out until the battery was getting low.

Overall the $105 was a good investment. She got to see a lot more than she would have hobbling along with a cane. It was a good exposure to the options that are available if you are temporarily or permanently disabled. It sure opened my eyes to the barriers to mobility that I had never considered before.

Lesson put to good use

We had to make a trip to Lowes this weekend to pick up some things that had us running all over the store. She jumped on a scooter at the front door and turned an ordeal into a pleasant experience. (BTW, the scooter won’t work if it’s still plugged into the wall. Just thought I’d pass that tip on so you don’t look as foolish as we did when we called for help.)

Man Versus Bike Versus Horse: 100 Miles to Go

100 miles (160km) in one day: There could not be a higher target to achieve. It’s tough, gruelling, technical and requires phenomenal fitness, balance, training, dedication, and concentration of both horse and rider.” — Competitive Long Distance Horse Riding Society


Riding a horse 100 miles is the apex of horse endurance achievement?

Horsepower Versus Manpower

A couple weeks ago in the Palm Beach Post, I read an article about a Wellington (Florida) woman who rode a horse 100 miles in a competitive event. I wasn’t all that impressed. It took her and the horse 14 hour or so hours.

I did my first bicycle century in less time and I’m sure I was in worse shape than her horse. Is that time an anomaly? Certainly I can’t be faster than a horse, right?

The American Endurance Ride Conference, the governing body for long distance horse riding, posts scores online. The best score I could find in 2008 over a 100-mile distance was 8:41 for Carol Giles riding SAR Tiki Stranger. That comes out to about 12 miles an hour. I’m still not impressed.

South Broward Wheelers Century Ride: Nov. 2

This coming Sunday, I’ll be riding the 2008 South Broward Wheelers Century Ride.

My goal for this ride is to finish in less than eight and a half hours. If I make that goal, I will consider myself superior to a horse in terms of endurance distance riding.

Anyone else up for taking on a horse?

Horsepower to Watts to Marketing

James ‘Fast Jimmy’ Watt was in marketing and wanted to sell steam engines. He did some math on the back of a flour sack and decided that a pony mule working in a mine could do a certain amount of work. He then guessed that a horse could do twice that amount of work. Based on that, he decided that a horse could do 33,000 foot pounds of force per minute. Thus, horsepower was born.

Based on Fast Jimmy’s analysis one horsepower is about 746 watts.

An average cyclist in good shape can produce 200 watts for hours at a time. A top-level professional cyclist can generate 500 watts. All else being equal, a horse produces two to four times more horsepower than a cyclist.

Why Cyclists Go Further, Faster than Horses

Gears and efficiency, mostly. Possibly SportLegs. No, mostly gears.

While cyclists are human, their bikes are machines. A great cyclist can translate about 20% of his energy into power. The rest is wasted.

Given that a horse is starting out with so much more raw power, you gotta wonder how efficient a horse is at converting energy to power. I guess you also have to wonder how far and fast horses could go if they road bikes.

Cyclists also aren’t bound by the rules of PETA. We are allowed to abuse ourselves long past the point where the average person would consider it cruel and unusual.

You Versus a Horse

The next time you ride a century, please let me know how you did versus your friendly neighborhood horse.

(Next up, why I think humans are smarter than dolphins no matter what Flipper says.)

—Matt

Off the Bike in Las Vegas

I haven’t run off the road and been swept away by the Mississippi River.

I’ve been in Las Vegas speaking at a Voice Report telecom seminar on auditing phone bills. I shared war stories about cell phone bills on Thursday and I’ll be in a BYOB (Bring Your Own Bills) session and a panel discussion today.

Sounds really exciting, doesn’t it?

Here’s the view from our Caesar’s Palace hotel window

We’re in Caesar’s Palace, overlooking the Bellagio Fountains.

We fly out Saturday, spend the night with Mark in St. Louis, then head down to Cape on Sunday. I plan to ride in Cairo, IL, for a couple of hours documenting old buildings and then we’re on our way home.

Wife Lila has to be back to do Steinhoff Consulting payroll and we have to be ready to vote.

Nikon D700 Review and Camera Commentary

Nikon D7000 Reviews Come Too Late, Order Today

Update: 2010-09-27… If you’re looking to get the latest Nikon digital SLR, the Nikon D7000, you better order it today. If Nikon’s delivery history is any indication, supplies will be limited after its initial launch. Don’t wait to read the Nikon D7000 reviews to order. Grab yours today and return it if you don’t like the digital camera.

Based on several online reviews of the Nikon D7000, it looks like this camera sits between the Nikon D300 and Nikon D90, possibly replacing both. It comes with some really nice features (data mirroring), HD Video and a rugged body.

Nikon D700 Review Summary: Just Buy One. Now.

Using the Nikon D700 DSLR for the first time was a life-changing experience on par with the birth of my son. Nikon D700 Camera -- The Finest Camera I Have Ever UsedIf you love photography, gave up photography when the world went digital and miss shooting with your beloved Nikon 35mm SLR camera, buy the Nikon D700 today and find happiness.

This is not a technical review but more of a commentary on what this Nikon D700 camera means to me. No brick walls were photographed in the creation of this article. If you absolutely must ogle the Nikon D700’s technical specs please read what Thom Hogan and Ken Rockwell have to say.

(I promise there is a D700 analysis here somewhere. If don’t care about how I got to the D700, skip down to the end where I tell you it is wonderful or, better yet, just buy one and find out for yourself.)

Film is Dead. Long Live Digital

Film is Dead. Long Live Digital. World Cup Soccer 1994.I don’t know exactly when film died but I have a guess. When I went through the family Nikon stockpile, I found this 1994 Fuji film box end on the back of a Nikon FE2. So, 1994, or pretty close to then.

I can still remember shooting film after 1994 but it stopped being fun. Digital was coming. It was clunky and nowhere near the quality of film but, by 1998, the only place I wanted to show my pictures was online. Shooting film, processing, printing and then scanning was too much work.

Enter the Nikon Coolpix 950. Image quality was low. Shutter lag was measured in seconds. It could only take two frames a minute. Color reproduction was poor. In every respect, it was worse than a 1967-era Nikon F. Except, it was digital. I started shooting pictures again. It wasn’t a lot of fun but at least it was immediate.

As soon as I touched the Coolpix 950, I knew I’d never shoot another roll of film.

Cameras I have Known and Loved

My father, Ken of PBBT Fame, was a photojournalist and has been shooting for 50 years. I picked up photography from him. I have used a lot of camera hardware over the years.

A partial display of the Steinhoff family photographic equipment collection.

While having used a lot of equipment doesn’t make me a great photographer, it does give me an idea as to what I like and dislike in camera equipment.

My first real camera was a Nikon FG-20. I used it for several years but never loved its feel — it felt small and the plastic film advance lever wasn’t nearly as solid as the metal advance on the Nikon F2. The Nikon N8008 was an amazing, functional camera with lots of technological bells and whistles but felt plastic. I took some of my best photos with the ‘8008 but it didn’t have the classic camera feel of my next camera: the Nikon FM2.

The FM2 was a real camera. It was metal. With the MD-12 motor drive, it had the heft and balance of a fine piece of photographic equipment. Unlike the older F2, it had an accurate meter and was modern enough to not to be temperamental. For being a step backwards technologically, the FM2 was satisfying for both the images it captured and the style in which it took them.

A Word About Nikon Lenses

Metal: good. Plastic: bad.

105/2.5, 135/2.8, 180/2.8 -- All Replaced by the 70-200/2.8Yes, just about any plastic Nikon lens you buy today will out-perform any 1970s- or 1980s-era Nikon lens. The production quality and science of lens design and construction today is wonderful. Still, today’s lenses feel cheap. A big, heavy 180mm f/2.8 lens from 1972 (did they even have ED glass then?), with its smooth-as-glass focus ring warms one’s heart. The current generation wonder lens, the Nikon 18-200mm AF-S G-Wiz VR Nikkor Nanotaco Lens, will outperform those Nikon classic fixed-length lenses even though it is a 10x-zoom lens and half their weight.

Nostalgia aside, today’s zoom lenses are optically awesome. Today’s Nikon Nikon 70-200mm f/2.8G ED-IF AF-S VR Zoom Nikkor lens allowed me to stop carrying a 105/2.5, 135/2.8 and 180/2.8. (I never had an 85mm or it would be gone, too.) One lens replaced three. At each focal length, side by side, the zoom produces better quality pictures. Factor in the ability to have those lengths as well as everything between 70mm and 200mm and you have a clear win for the zoom.

At the short end, too, zooms rock. My Nikon Nikon 17-35mm f/2.8D ED-IF AF-S Zoom Nikkor replaced a 24/2.8 and 35/2. If I had been fortunate enough to have a 20/2.8, it would have been gone, too.

With just two lenses in my bag, the 17-35/2.8 and 70-200/2.8, I can shoot just about anything I come across. Toss in a 60/2.8 macro and a 300/2.8 (with a 1.4x teleconverter?) and the entire photographic world is my oyster.

(As a side note, even the AI-converted Nikon 24 f/2.8 lens my father bought used in 1968 works just fine on the D700. Does that blow your mind or what? Manual-focus Nikon lenses made a decade before I was born will matrix meter on the D700. You can’t even come close to saying that about Canon and their digital cameras.)

Nikon D70 and the Age of Fun Digital

The Nikon D70 and my son were both born in 2004.

Malcolm Steinhoff, Son; Almost as Cool as the Nikon D700 Camera

The D70 was announced in January 2004. Malcolm was due to arrive the end of August.

At long last, there was a good reason for me to upgrade from the Coolpix. The D70 was everything I wanted in a digital camera except that it was a DX-cropped camera instead of a full 35mm frame. (Basically, what that mean is that the 24mm lens and its correct angle of view effectively became a 36mm lens. Every lens I had was suddenly 1.5x longer. This is an oversimplification. Go read some technical blog if you care to know more.)

Still, I had a kid on the way and the D70 was the first digital camera that was mostly okay for under $1,000. Thanks to lowered expectations, a hard deadline and the price point, I made the jump to a digital SLR.

D70 — DX Crop Means Never Wide Enough

Malcolm, at Disney World, showing where he would keep his mouse, if he had a mouse.If you never used a 35mm film camera with a lens wider than 35mm, you don’t care that your new digital camera is cropped by a 1.5 multiple. The 18mm-70mm or whatever zoom lens that came with the camera is plenty good at its effective 27mm view. Best of all, at the long end your 200mm lens is now a 300mm lens. All the better to shoot pictures of your kid’s soccer game.

I, on the other hand, wanted to be able to see 24mm of view. In fact, my 17-35mm zoom lens at 17mm is nirvana.

The D70 was functionally awesome. The color was spot-on most of the time. Image quality was good. Its crisp response was worlds better than the Coolpix. Photography was fun again and the quality was once again near film (except in low light). But, just like the FG-20 and N8008, the D70 didn’t have the right feel. I always knew I was shooting digital. I always knew the camera was plastic. I knew the D70 wasn’t a classic.

D700 Review and Commentary

The Nikon D700 is everything I have ever wanted in a camera.

Not only does the D700 meet all my technical requirements for a camera, it meets all my tactile and emotional requirements. It feels like a classic camera. Malcolm paints at the Denver childrens museum.

All the buttons and knobs are in the right place. It is well balanced and crisp. The quality of design and thought involved in its creation is clear. Never do I have to think about how to do something or try to mold my mind to fit the camera. The camera is the one that changes to meet my photographic needs.

I’m sure this sounds like simple slash camera porn but the truth of the matter is that the D700 is a wonderful piece of photographic equipment.

Within moments of unboxing the camera, it simply felt right. Everything I had learned in using the D70 for four years was applicable. Yet, as I started using the camera, the camera faded away and the captured images took center stage. The viewfinder on the D700 is huge compared to the D70.

And, oh yes, the 17-35mm zoom is oh-so-wide again: 104 degrees to do with as I please. (On a DX camera, you only get 79 degrees for your angle of view.)

What Digital SLR Camera Should You Buy?

That is really simple. Today, you really have three choices and they cover the entire dollar range.

Nikon D700: Buy this camera if you like shooting wide, remember 35mm film and want the same feeling as when you first picked up any of the Nikon classic cameras. It really is the most wonderful camera I have used in my entire life.

Nikon D40: Here is the camera for you, if you love taking pictures with your Canon PowerShot point-n-shoot camera, but it isn’t responsive enough. You push the button to take a picture, the kid moves before the shutter fires and you end up cursing the day you ever bought the camera. This is the camera if you enjoy photography but you aren’t getting the results you want and need something a lot better but don’t want to spend an arm and a leg. The Nikon D40, for less than $400 with 18-55mm zoom lens (refurbished), is the perfect camera for you. Dad got one as a retirement present and is loving every minute of the camera. Honestly, at this price, you are getting an great DSLR for the price of a point-n-shoot.

Nikon D90: Let’s say you already have a digital SLR and it is getting a little old. Maybe you picked up a D100 or a D200 a few years back. You have first or second generation technology, want more but couldn’t justify buying a D300 even if it did have wonderful low-light sensitivity. Maybe you never shot film or, if you did, you really don’t care about angle of view. You want the best DX digital camera on the market today. The Nikon D90 is a year newer than the previous champ, the Nikon D300. While a year may not be a lot of time for some products, in the rapidly advancing world of digital cameras, a year is forever. For about what I paid for the D70 ($1,000) four years ago, you can get today’s top of the line digital DX SLR.

Notice Anything Missing in this Review?

I didn’t mention megapixels once. Here is the reason: megapixels ceased to be a factor when cameras passed the four megapixel mark. For anything up to an 8×10 print, four or six megapixels are fine. The D700 has 12 megapixels but that wasn’t even a factor in my purchase. More megapixels just mean I need more RAM and more disk space. I’d be perfectly happy with a six megapixel D700.

Got questions? Wanna express your undying love for a camera? Comment below.